


Seducing Sherlock

by ariales



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Prompt Fill, Romance, UST, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 06:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1418388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariales/pseuds/ariales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which John tries to woo Sherlock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seducing Sherlock

**Author's Note:**

> Minifill written for the prompt "John woos Oblivious!Sherlock" from sherlockbbc-fic in lj. Originally posted May 2011. Rewritten a few parts.
> 
> Unbetaed and silly.

**One.**

John walks in on Sherlock with his violin. He clears his throat and asks, “Would you like me to help you with that?"

“With what?”

“Cleaning your _long_ , _hard_ bow,” John purrs, “Sherlock.”

“My _what_?”

“Your long. Hard. Bow.” John tries not to bat his eyelash.

Sherlock looks at him. “This bow isn’t that hard at all.”

“…I was speaking metaphorically.”

“Why are you talking about a violin bow metaphorically?”

“I was actually trying to be… you know what? Never mind.”

 

**Two.**

John whistles as he pushes the bathroom door open. He feigns shock as Sherlock turns around under the shower.

“John!”

“Oh sorry, sorry! I _accidentally_ picked the lock of the door when I heard the sound of the shower and thought there might be a burglar in our home,” John exclaims as he pretends he is _not_ peeking at Sherlock’s ass.

Sherlock stares. “You picked the lock of the bathroom door.”

“Yes.”

“Because a burglar might be taking a shower?”

“Yes. Well. You know me. Just trying to protect our home.”

“Why would there be a burglar in the shower?”

“You’re the consulting detective. You tell me.” John blinks. “Is that a tattoo on your thigh?”

“What? Oh bugger. Didn’t get to wash the mud off properly.”

“Would you like me to help? If we shower together, we’ll be saving water.”

Sherlock gapes.

“But it’s for the environment,” John shouts when Sherlock locks the door.

 

**Three**

“John.”

“Sherlock.”

“There’s a skeleton on my bed.”  
  
"I _know_."

"Did you put it there?"

“…Do you like it?”

“...Yes. But that’s not that point. There _is_ a skeleton on my bed.”

"Does it turn you on?"

" _What._ "

"I mean, WHAT KIND OF SICK PERSON WOULD DO THIS!?!"

"..."

"...But you still like it though, right?"

 

**Four**

John spends a whole week trying out the recipe from Mrs. Hudson’s cooking book and does not stop until he is sure he got the flavor perfectly.

Unfortunately, Sherlock is allergic to blueberries and spends the next two days in the hospital, bloated and itchy.

He never told anyone he is the one who made those cookies he secretly placed in Sherlock’s pocket, but he does receive an email from Mycroft with Sherlock’s medical record attached with a subject that reads: _He likes Chocolate Chip better._

 

**Five**

Sherlock corners John the night he gets out of the hospital. “I think we need to talk.”

John nods and thinks, _This is it._

“And there’s something I need to ask you and you need to answer me honestly, John.”

“Fire away.”

Sherlock looks him in the eye. “Have you been stealing my cocaine?”

“Yes I will marry you and live with you until we both --- What?” John blinks.

Sherlock blinks back at him. “ _What_?”

“Wait, did you just accuse me of stealing your cocaine?” John asks. “Because I didn’t even know you have one.”

“Did you just tell me you’re going to marry me?”

And John shakes his head in frustration. “I’ve been trying to seduce you for weeks!”

Sherlock is baffled. “What?”

“I offered to clean your bow! Your _long_ and _hard_ bow! I wanted to shower with you! I stole a skeleton from the city cemetery for you! I made you cookies!”

“How was I to know that? You’ve been acting like a lunatic and high on drugs,” Sherlock retorts. He narrows his eyes. “You’re the one who sent me to the hospital!”

“I didn’t know you were allergic!” John crosses his arms. “And anyway, you liked the skeleton.”

Sherlock pauses. “Yeah. I do,” he admits.

John huffs.

“So does this mean you like me?” Sherlock asks.

“Some brilliant detective you are.”

“Consulting Detective,” Sherlock corrects. He falls silent. “I thought we’re already together.”

“Blugah,” John says.

“Well, we’ve been living under one roof! And we share domestic expenses and other stuff. And we go out dating --- shut up,” Sherlock says defensively when John opens his mouth to protest. “Really, all we need now is sex and we’re practically married.”

John takes this in. “So… we’re _together_?”

“I suppose we are, yeah.”

John blinks at him. Then smiles. “Your bed or mine?”

Sherlock smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

> I adore feedback.


End file.
